Ever noticed how Liberals hate inanimate objects?

• Oil - Liberals hate oil. A simple mention of the word evokes nightmares of crude-covered ducks gagging. They wake up in the night drenched with sweat screaming "Exxon Valdez - NOOOOOOOOO!" They hate oil so much, in fact, that they don't mind bankrupting half of America by fighting against drilling. Their hatred for oil makes them blind to news that our off-shore oil rigs have become artificial reefs supporting thriving sea life, even through the ravages of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, during which these oil rigs held up nicely without so much as one dead dolphin.


• Guns - "Guns kill people," Liberals scream. They march. They do commercials with Susan Sarandon. Apparently in California, guns mysteriously load themselves, rise into the air, aim at people and kill them.


• Companies - Oil companies, drug companies, health insurance companies, SUV manufacturers, the list goes on and on. I guess it's easier to hate a company than to hate an actual person. But the funny thing is, companies are made up of people. Oh, and companies make profits and Liberals think that's outrageous. How dare a company make a profit when they should be developing products that benefit humanity and are provided free of charge. It's not like this is a capitalist society or anything.